Yesterday morning I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep with all the thoughts jockeying for position in my head. I had been back in the UK 9 days and it has been an emotional avalanche. When I was thinking about this earlier one song kept playing in my head ‘can’t keep running away’. The thing is that is not what I thought I was doing.
I have seen that living in Ghana gave me that distance from this ‘World’ and so while not running away I was a part from it and so was unknowingly comfortable in that space. My world revolved around no electricity or water or the strength of the Cedi playing a game of ‘how low can you go’. To be fair the cedi is back on the rise which is a good thing.
So I woke up feeling like I had the woes of the world hovering over me, to get away from my thoughts (no, not running away) I decided to go for a walk, which turned into a decision to take my diary and go for a coffee and write it out.
I sat in the coffee shop with coffee, well soya mocha , to the right of me and pen in hand, diary open and ready to receive. I started writing but it was stunted, forced. This wasn’t the catharsis I had been planning on. Suddenly at 9.30 am on a Sunday morning I hear my name, I look up momentarily blinded from the sun behind the owner of the voice and, to be honest, the fact I didn’t have my glasses on so couldn’t see so good.
It was a friend I haven’t seen for ages and usually see in Ghana. To say I was surprised was an understatement, but pleasantly so because I knew something was going to happen, I had been brought out on this cold morning out of my bed to meet him. So I closed my diary smiled and opened myself up to what was to come. Also just earlier in the week I had said I missed the fact in Ghana I would bump into someone I knew wherever I went, I had also specifically used my coffee visit in the same establishment to exemplify how I wasn’t bumping into people.
My God did not disappoint. I truly believe that as you need something or someone it will come to you with patience and an open heart. The conversation we had covered Ghana and helped me clarify some thinking on my relationship with Ghana, circumstances of life and how we respond and our role in creating a better future and what that even means. It was perfect.
There have been 2 phrases and a third was introduced in this conversation which I refuse to accept in totality. These are:
- It is what it is
- That’s life
- We are all F*c%$d
In all cases I believe yes perhaps right now but it could all change in a moment, you could change or change it in a moment, or a bit longer. What if it isn’t what it seems to be? What if what you can see is only the surface or the beginning or an indicator of something else? Another choice or path?
That is life if you agree that it should be this way or that way. What is it about it you don’t like and can that be changed? Are you willing to make those changes? No? Then yes That’s life. There are the elements that are part of the life cycle – birth, illness, death and I have to agree there is little we can do to change those happenings. What we can change/ manage is our response to those things.
The conversation this morning woke me up and picked me up so I am so grateful for my tall, dark, handsome friend who wondered in out of the cold for a strong black coffee to wake him up. We both ended up having an unexpected awakening, as he said ‘damn this corner of Costa’ as revelation after revelation revealed themselves to us. Unasked but at the end quite welcome.
So many areas were touched upon but the overall outcome, the guiding light was quite simply this. At the end all we can do is live our best life for us, if in so doing you inspire and help others all the better but the focus must stay clear for you. All other people’s opinions, thoughts, helpful support means nothing if it is not in-line with your personal journey, your personal truth. So take that step, face forward and remember nothing matters as much as you think it does right now, so choose how you are going to live this life for you, commit to it and get started.
Really happy I listened to the voice and got out of bed yesterday morning cos it was cold outside :-)