How it is, is usually not how you thought it would be. In my case that is a MAJOR understatement.
I thought at this point my life this year would look very different to how it is now, right now I am single, not in the position I thought I would be in workwise and figuring out a number of personal issues. To say God came and put a boot in my hornet’s nest is putting it mildly.
I have described how I feel about where I am and how I feel as being at point zero. At a point where everything is back to scratch, re-set and I am figuring out what went ‘wrong’ and what do I do next. Wrong is a contentious word to use here as I am not sure things went ‘wrong’ as in not as they were supposed to OR in reality not as I had wanted them too so it feels wrong. As I start to get some perspective I am thinking that perhaps things went very right but just not as I had planned or thought I wanted. Hindsight shows me that forces greater than me are making sure, in the long term, things go right for me.
I am getting to that point of positive philosophical reflection but don’t be fooled I have comfort ate like a champ, had the miasma of depression wrap itself a round me like a shroud and been on an emotional rollercoaster for the first six months of this year.
But here we are the eve of 2015’s half way point and what a day I have had. Clarity, new direction, opportunities being revealed and a gentle calmness in my spirit all coming to me. I am blessed, in the depths of one of my most miserable times I have been continuously blessed, so all I can really do is be grateful.
The future is mine and though it may not follow the path I might plan, the path it takes will be for my developmental and personal best. What I have experienced will strengthen and mature me because I take it all for the lessons that they were and refuse to let it embitter or impede my progress.
God has a plan for me and who am I to get in the way of that. The Me that woke up is in a quite different place from the Me that is about to go to bed.
Happy half way mark people, may the rest of the year be a joyous reflection of the learnings from the first half.